Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Some more that Dr. Johnson missed...

TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia"- needless paperwork and processes.

404 Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Oh, my aching head...

Never again will I mix Pimms, Champagne, Guinness, Stella, Tequila and Glenmorangie.
At least, not in the same glass...
A splendid night of excess on Saturday, which left me full of love for my fellow man (though not as full of love as Paul was..!)
Apologies to the poor woman who had to sit next to the trembling, sweating & dribbling wreckage on the bus back to Bristol though...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Yet more new pictures...

...Like this one at: http://www.byphotos.com/album/1334810

Yup, we're back from our holidays, sunburnt & skint.

Joe's making good progress with swimming, which is more than could be said for me - I could only ever manage a bastardised version of breaststroke, & now it makes my knee hurt after about 10 yards...

Rory's now walking everywhere, & even breaks into a trot now & then (which again, is more than can be said for me)

Ah, here's a thing!

I realised that I could actually change the settings on my phone to improve picture quality...
This should look better than the one of Joe in the train...