Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Billy in the Lowground - new website!

The band's shiny new website is up, and very tasteful it is too.
Still a bit of tinkering to do, but the forum is up & running, and you can download sample mp3 files:

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Down with this sort of thing!

Yet another shocking example in the Old Fox last night of the harrowing ordeals that musicians have to endure in pursuit of their art...
Here, Alan of Angel Up Front ( manfully defends himself in the face of an unwarranted invasion of his sacrosanct personal space (in the middle of a particularly widdly solo) by an eager young lady who later claimed to be "just trying to get to the dartboard!"
"This sort of thing is becoming all too common", a clearly shaken Alan later confirmed: "It's not the reason I took up playing the guitar at all..."

Friday, November 25, 2005

Want a free Googlemail account?

I've just got one, and I've got a bunch of invites to send to anyone who wants one; take a look here if you'd like to know more:

Basically it's similar to a free hotmail account, but with vastly greater storage & various other features.
Drop me a email if you're interested...

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

How can a stranger tell if two people are married?

"You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids."
- Derrick, age 8

What were they thinking?

People spend a lot of time thinking up their children's names. It's just a pity they don't always think as hard about their domain names...

- Firstly there is Who Represents?, a database for agencies to the rich and famous:

- Second is the Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views:

- Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island:

- Need a therapist? Try:

- And there is an Italian Power company:

- Finally we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:

(courtesy of Venue)

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Eastpole Orchestra rubbish 'phone fails to do justice to the majestic, nay awesome power of the Orchestra of Eastpole...
If you wern't there, you missed it!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Friday, November 04, 2005

Works outings, eh?

...and this is why I don't go on many..! Those empties aren't all mine, BTW...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Maybe get a blister on your little finger...

After a 3 year hiatus, I've dusted off my bass (actually, "scraped the mould off" would be more accurate) & resumed playing with the old band after a surprise phonecall from Chris last week ("Allright mate? Want yer old job back?")
No longer the Brew Band, they're now called Billy in the Lowground (from a bluegrass tune), but apart from that it seems to be business as usual - a few of the old songs are still in there, but I've got a lot of practicing to do to get up to speed again. I think their old bass player is playing out the remaining gigs up to Christmas, after which I'll hopefully be fit to be seen in public...
Gig list / contact available here:

Quotes from the "American Taliban"


Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Some more that Dr. Johnson missed...

TESTICULATING Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

CUBE FARM An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia"- needless paperwork and processes.

404 Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

BEER COAT The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

BEER COMPASS The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

BREAKING THE SEAL Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

JOHNNY-NO-STARS A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

MONKEY BATH A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho! Aa! Aa! Aa!".

MYSTERY BUS The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Oh, my aching head...

Never again will I mix Pimms, Champagne, Guinness, Stella, Tequila and Glenmorangie.
At least, not in the same glass...
A splendid night of excess on Saturday, which left me full of love for my fellow man (though not as full of love as Paul was..!)
Apologies to the poor woman who had to sit next to the trembling, sweating & dribbling wreckage on the bus back to Bristol though...

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Yet more new pictures...

...Like this one at:

Yup, we're back from our holidays, sunburnt & skint.

Joe's making good progress with swimming, which is more than could be said for me - I could only ever manage a bastardised version of breaststroke, & now it makes my knee hurt after about 10 yards...

Rory's now walking everywhere, & even breaks into a trot now & then (which again, is more than can be said for me)

Ah, here's a thing!

I realised that I could actually change the settings on my phone to improve picture quality...
This should look better than the one of Joe in the train...

Monday, August 01, 2005

Joe driving a train...

...well, sort of!
This is a mobile phone picture & I just thought I'd see what sort of image quality it would be.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Candidate for Honours list!

All hail Robin Askew!
This Prince among men recently won a years supply of Cobra beer, and in his infinite wisdom gave most of it away. I can confirm that it was lovely, & also that it's all gone...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Friday, May 06, 2005

Ahh, savour the disappointment on his shiny orange face! Posted by Hello

Monday, May 02, 2005

ErIIck to wed shock!

Yes, news has just reached me that Ian & Nicola are tying the knot on the 17/6/06.
(So you can't say you weren't warned)

Wednesday, April 06, 2005 what's this, then?

disjecta membra, for those without the Latin, are fragments or scattered remains...
And that's about it, really.
When I can be bothered, I'll add to this, pretty much entirely for my own amusement - I don't really expect anyone else to read it, as although it's "out there" in the ether, I'm not much of a one for self-publicity. There are plenty of budding Nathan Barleys out there fulfilling that role, and I don't think the world really needs another Trashbat...
So there you go - this is pretty much a diary, and I'm learning a bit about blogging & PWPs as I go along.
Feel free to comment, though if anyone does, I'll probably fall off my perch in surprise!
(Incidentally, it's interesting to see that Spellcheck's suggested replacement for "blogging" is "flogging"!)

Thought for the Day. Posted by Hello