Kings Arms, Bath

Last time I came here was in the band's previous incarnation about 3 years ago, and I'm happy to report that coming back is much like putting on a comfy pair of slippers. Probably some old tartan ones that the dog has chewed a bit.
All the familiar old fixtures and fittings are there, including several punters who never move from their places at the bar - they are in fact fully plumbed in, with their own connections to the beer pumps and the sewage system. At the end of the night, the landlady drapes beer towels over their heads and they instantly fall asleep. Actually, some of them don't last that long.
We used to play here on a Sunday night, when the place always had a slightly desperate atmosphere as everyone tried to forget they had to work in the morning - Friday night seems a lot busier, and we even managed to perform a miracle: Lo! The lame threw away their crutches and danced! Well, one of 'em anyway - I hope there was no-one from the Social there, or her disability benefit'll be stopped on Monday...

King William, Glastonbury

Ah, Glastonbury. Great place to go if you're feeling a bit short of crystals or in need of a holistic massage, but as one local put it, if you want a pint of milk & some fishfingers you're screwed.
Funny place the King William... nothing seems to have changed from the last time we played here including the punters, who range from toothless local farmers who'd win first prize in a gurning contest to tooth-grinding acid casualties who'd give 'em a good run for their money.
Nice friendly place though, and we even managed to negotiate the air-con being turned on, in exchange for turning down a bit... can't take it, eh? Too much for you eh?

I blame the Council!

This government have a lot to answer for, not least the pernicious liberalisation of our ancient & noble drinking laws. Because of this heinous piece of legislation, I didn't leave the Old Fox until 1.30 on Sunday morning, having consumed more pints of Dublin's finest than I originally intended...
My old mate Alan must also shoulder part of the blame, as I'd gone out to see his band Angel Up Front who were as loud and cheesetastic as ever (I hope me & Patsy didn't put him off his stride by showing each other pictures of our kids - not very Rock'n'Roll I'm afraid!)
Still, at least I proved I can still headbang, even if whilst sitting down...
All this excess took it's toll however, and thus it was in the early hours of Sunday morning that irate motorists driving through Old Market would have seen a huge swath of roadcones blocking off half the road with, apparently, nothing happening.
Some hours later, a stooped, shambling figure in a hi-vis jacket appeared, and with a heavy heart (and even heavier head) I started the work I'd completely forgotten about...

Thomas Tripp Late 'n' Live, Christchurch

A new venue for us, this club, and it turned out nice in the end. The support band, a very friendly bunch called the Monuments, turned up just as we arrived and promptly had both their cars clamped. Luckily the venue owner sorted this out rapidly... it was a late booking for them, and they were missing a couple of their number so Ruth & Nige were rapidly deputized to help out. This they did with a will, and it was a little surreal to watch them, especially as there were more people on stage than off it at this early hour... a pity, 'cos they all did a sterling job. They even took loads of photos & even some film as well, which was very decent of them - I'll put it on here at a later date (assuming it's not totally embarassing).
By the time we came on, the place was filling up and we enjoyed ourselves hugely, especially those of us who didn't have to drive - we'd have done a couple more, but the DJ was so eager to launch into his '80s compilation tape that we didn't get the chance - still, we'll probably be back...



Here's one song they filmed for us - the others will appear on YouTube shortly ( see link on the right). Sound quality is less than brilliant, but at least you get a good view of the band, which may or may not be a good thing depending on your point of view...

http://www.themonuments.co.uk/

The George, Bradford on Avon

The start of a busy weekend for us, this lovely quiet little boozer (I'm talking about the pub) was nicely filled up with most of the population of Broughton Gifford, Chris & Ruth's home village, on Friday night. Despite a horrendous cold, Chris battled his way through to the end with only minor casualties on both sides, then ferried a vanload of drunken neighbours home as the rest of us scuttled off into the night...

Pilton again!

Saturday the 23rd saw us back at the poshest Working Men's Club in the Wessvinglun, after a whistle-stop tour of local garages in search of a needle & thread to correct an unfortunate Wardrobe Malfunction that threatened to reveal to the world a pair of multicoloured leggings that Ruth had wisely elected to hide under a skirt... I still reckon the baling twine in the back of the van would have done the job, but then sartorial elegance was never my strongpoint.
A lot more people this time, though as usual they chose to lurk in the darkness at the back of the room, like wolves circling a campfire. For some reason, people seemed reluctant to respond to Chris's slightly threatening imprecations to "move a little closer", perhaps mindful of what happens when Hannibal Lecter says that...
It was pointed out later that our aging SM58 microphones are now so full of rust, spit, phlegm and beer that no-one could actually hear a word he was saying, which is possibly just as well.
The only ones who came onto the dancefloor were a large posse of small girls, who quickly discovered the 'sliding around' potential, and buffed up the parquet to a lovely shine by the end of the night.
We'll be back on St Patrick's night, so I guess we'd best practise a few jigs 'n' reels by then - and perhaps invest in at least one decent mike, so people can better appreciate the delicate nuances of the lyrics...

Talking of which, I wonder if I'm the only one puzzled by Mitsubishi's decision to advertise their latest planet-killing 4x4 monster truck with a cover of Dylan's 'Hard Rain'..?

http://bobdylan.com/songs/hardrain.html

Pilton Working Mens' Club

A cut above yer average Working Mens' Club, this venue on Saturday - lovely stage, lighting, dance floor, the works. Distinct lack of punters though, as is always the way when everything else is right...
We could have done without one particular punter though - quite the drunkest woman I've ever clapped eyes on (and that's saying something) staggered up to the stage while we were soundchecking to inform us how pissed she was. We'd guessed. I assumed she'd slide quietly beneath a table or be carried out before we started, but no - the lady wanted to dance...
I cocked up several songs due to fits of giggles as she repeatedly bounced off the edge of the stage, fell over on the dancefloor and crawled away on all fours, only to return for more. In between, she made a noise like a baboon with Tourettes' syndrome.
We kind of assumed she was a local 'character' who did this every week, but one of the locals sidled up to Chris in the break and asked: "Is she with you?" No! She isn't! Sure enough, at the end of the night she was poured into a taxi bound for Wells. I hope she had £50 to cover the valeting charge...
We're booked back here on the 23rd, a fortnight's time, so we must have gone down well. Chris had asked someone from the Glastonbury Festival down, but she didn't show this time, so maybe... oh. Oh dear. I really hope it wasn't...